Author LM Hinton

My Brain is Hungry

Leah M. HintonFebruary 8, 2011Leave a Reply

My Brain is Hungry

We ate dinner at a restaurant which does not have nutrition info posted, available or on-line. I did my best with the tracker to come up with point values. In order to err on the side of caution, I upped the points values to be sure I was covered, so today’s tracker total is completely padded.

Even with the extra padding I put in the tracker for my points, I ended the day within my daily range and am feeling pretty good. However, I’m hungry. Now my WW leader Lori says you need to decide if you are tummy hungry or head hungry — in other words are you truly hungry or is it just your head telling you to eat for one reason or another. Well, I thought long and hard and realized I am not tummy hungry. As far as my tummy goes, I am totally satisfied, but my brain keeps telling me I need more.

I could back off the points padding I did on the tracker and eat something else, but I am trying not to eat for the sake of eating. The dilemma is I really don’t know why I am wanting food so badly right now. Quite frankly, I’ve been wanting stuff all day. It started int he teacher’s lounge when all of the teachers were gifted with a box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day. I stayed out of them. Then when I took my daughter to swim team practice, the fried chicken place across the street was cooking up yummy things and the parking lot smelled delicious.

I’m not sure what is happening today but maybe it is a sense of anxiety. I’m anxious about my family coming to visit this weekend. I’m also about to start my cycle and that always makes me hungry and I overall don’t have a sense of ease about things. Yet I couldn’t tell you exactly what is making me freak out. I just wish when things get tough I wouldn’t reach for food.

Maybe it is just this is week 2 of WW and the first week came so easily because we were snowed in (by Texas standards, for the week and school was closed and I didn’t have to get into a new diet and my old routine at the same time, while this week I do.

So here I am getting ready for bed thinking about the big box of chocolates on my kitchen counter. I’m thinking about how great donuts would be for breakfast. I’m thinking about how id love to prepare a huge BBQ feast for my brother this weekend. I’m thinking about everything I shouldn’t be thinking about.
I know someday I will succeed and I won’t weigh a bajillion pounds anymore, but I’m wondering will I ever be able to escape this hold food has on my every waking moment. I’m truly a slave to my addiction and am wanting to break free.

I really expected the hard stuff to come later when I was sick of WW and sick of dieting. I really love the program now and am excited about a new life. However, I can’t help but wonder, should it be this hard this soon?

I Bet 25 WW Points on the Superbowl . . .

Leah M. HintonFebruary 6, 2011Leave a Reply

I Bet 25 WW Points on the Superbowl . . .I hate to gamble. I hate to get nothing for my money. I went to a casino once, lost about $12 then decided it wasn’t for me. My mom and other friends said I did it all

I hate to gamble. I hate to get nothing for my money. I went to a casino once, lost about $12 then decided it wasn’t for me. My mom and other friends said I did it all wrong. They said I should have gone with a certain amount of money, prepared to lose it all and consider it money spent on an entertaining evening…much like going to a movie or play. Well, this concept made a lot of sense to me even if I have no desire to go back to the casino, so I put this theory to practice today for the Superbowl.

I ate well all week and saved my extra points. I went into today anticipating using all of my points and 25 of my extra points. I ate like a kind, queen really, and enjoyed the day. I didn’t stress abut points at all but I DID track my points like a good girl 🙂

I made a luscious Irish stew with dark beer and butter eve. I made nachos later in the day and had the two I allotted for myself. My children made homemade rice krispy treats. I had a little of everything and went over in points — just like I had planned.

This took the stress out of the day. Just like at a casino, I knew that I was willing to bet on the superbowl — 25 points.

Now weigh in is tomorrow and I probably won’t see a big loss if any, but I’m still okay with that because if I’m going to make this lifestyle change and not feel the deprivation associated with DIET than I need to feel in control and not the least bit tortured by my chosen life.

With this technique, I will master life’s celebrations which are usually accompanied by food and learn that I am controlling what I don’t eat just as easily as I can control what I do eat. This is my journey. I will learn not put myself down or have any internal negative speech for blowing it and it makes the approach of tomorrows weight in nothing to be afraid of.

I have a friend who ate super clean today for the superbowl. I am so very proud of her — but no more proud of her than I am myself. I had a plan lived it, rocked it. Totally socked it. Yay me. (and way to go Packers!)

Finga Lickin’ Good

Leah M. HintonFebruary 5, 2011Leave a Reply

Finga Lickin’ Good . . .

So how many points is the miscellaneous foods you lick off your fingers or the spoon?

I didn’t even realize I was doing this ’till today when I prepared peanut butter sandwiches for my children. I licked the spoon and instantly though. “Wow, that peanut butter tastes phenomenal.” It was probably one of the most calorie rich, fat dense foods I’ve had all week. I was seriously doing the eyes rolling back in my head, ecstasy laden happiness face. Then “snap” I was quickly thrust from my happy place. How many points have I used up this week licking spoons, forks, knives, fingers?????? I didn’t even realize I was a serial finger licker. (Isn’t it odd what you find out about yourself when you try to change your life!)

I thought long and hard and had no recollection of what all I have added to my intake this week. I’ve probably licked a dozen spoons this week. So I journaled a spoon full of peanut butter today, even though I doubt I got that much — but I wanted to be safe rather than sorry.

The big bummer part is that I have been saving my extra points for Superbowl Sunday and now I wonder how many I actually have . . .

So beware my friends, of all of the sneaky points clamoring to live on your thighs and spoil your weigh in. 🙂

The Fat Lady is Singing . . .

Leah M. HintonFebruary 4, 2011Leave a Reply

The Fat Lady is Singing . . .

I’m sure you’ve heard “It’s not over till the fat lady sings.” Well, I’ve been singing for years and my old, big girl ways haven’t come to an end. Every day I fill myself with some yummy goodie that was horrible for my health. Once in a while, that wouldn’t have been a problem — but daily abuse of my body is no way to live.

I felt sluggish. Lethargic. OLD. (I’m almost 40 and that is still young in my book!) One of my favorite things is to grab my guitar and write songs. My sad, old lethargic-self didn’t even have the energy for that anymore. It is a pretty sad thing when you don’t have time or energy for the things that give you joy.

Well, here I am, on day 4. I feel mighty full, I might add and still have points to spare. No sense of deprivation here. Already, I am noticing the brain fog lifting. Already I have more energy because I am fueling my body with quality whole foods.

In four days on WW I am back to writing songs and am actually getting more housework done. (Not to mention the fact I homeschool my children and that takes up a great big chunk of my day and usually leaves me tired — but not this week)

I imagine there will be a time when the newness wears off and I am not the HUGE fan of the program I am today — but I’m so excited I can’t see it coming anytime soon. Usually I am really ready to be done with a diet two days in. Of course I hear so many on here say it is not a diet, but a lifestyle change.

I can’t wait to get my old body back. (I sed to be a very fit personal trainer who looked good in anything. Ahhhh, the good old days!)

So for now the fat lady is singing (and hopefully shrinking)My old ways are over. I’m finallly seeing light at the end of my very large tunnel. 🙂

Honey, Could You Make Fried Chicken …

Leah M. HintonFebruary 3, 2011Leave a Reply

Honey, Could You Make Fried Chicken and Mashed Potatoes with Gravy?” . . . Seriously?

You ever have one of those days where you think things are going downhill only to find out they are exactly the way they are supposed to be?

I love my husband. I REALLY love my husband, but one of the issues I have identified as being a part of my weight problem is that not only do I love food, but my husband does too. Neither of us is strong for the other when it comes to food. All it has ever taken for a diet to fail is for one of us to suggest dinner out “just once more before we get serious about our health”.

Well, today is day three on the program. My husband has been good, eating what I’ve been eating and surely he will see some benefit. Then today he asked for fried chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy. He also put in his request for the weekend. He asked for homemade Irish stew with homemade rolls, chili with cornbread and a number of other yummy things. I was so frustrated I was close to serving him the toy versions in the pic. (but I’ve gotta remember he wouldn’t want the green beans — ha)

I know there are healthier versions out there, and as good as that sounds, it is NOT what he wants. I told him things are going to be different. I told him that eating like that once in awhile would be fine, but we can’t eat like that every day. (I’ve home cooked 1-3 meals a day forever!) then I sat back and waited for the complaining.

It never came! He thought about it and I guess he realized I am serious and that we really need to see to our health. He finally came back with — “you wanna try a lean ground turkey chili with beans so we have more fiber?”

I was shocked. I couldn’t believe it. All these years I thought there would NEVER be a day he would eat something like that and here he was open to compromise. I sold my husband short presuming he would react a certain way if I pushed my health goals onto him. How sad that I didn’t give him the benefit of the doubt. How many years earlier might we have tackled our health issues if we had just kept the lines of communication open instead of presuming to know what the other would want.

I guess my message to all of you is “Speak up for yourself and give your significant other the benefit of the doubt…you shouldn’t have to this alone!”

Faulty Reflection?

Leah M. HintonFebruary 2, 2011Leave a Reply

Faulty Reflection?

Sometimes I forget I’m a big girl. I’m not talking big bones — I need to lose about 120 pounds. Yet, I find myself smiling at an attractive man or walking with a little too much pride or (God help me) even swaggering and thinking I look good.

I can see my reflection easily enough every time I look in the mirror or pass by a shiny window with the latest fashion displayed— only it isn’t what I feel on the inside. And as I stand looking at little, cute, attractive clothes I realize they aren’t for me — sew them all together to make one big one and it still wouldn’t fit me.

I, from the inside looking out, am fun and bubbly — sexy and confident — able to go through life happy, and for the most part this is true, but then I ask myself — “why am I big?” if these things are really true — with NO lies or defensive measures to protect me attached to them, then WHY AM I BIG?

I love food and eat because I enjoy it. Also, I eat emotionally. I eat when I’m happy, sad, bored, frustrated, anguished, nervous, seemingly satisfied and for every other emotion I can think of. This is why I’m big or at least this is the excuse I tell myself everytime I think too long or hard on the subject.

Losing weight is the beautiful side effect of this journey — finding out the “why” is my purpose because without knowing “why” I eat, the cycle will not be broken. How can a seemingly adjusted person, whom everyone thinks is on top of things, be so out of control?

I’ll let you know when I find out.

First Full Day of Points Plus

Leah M. HintonFebruary 1, 2011Leave a Reply

Can I start by saying “Wow, am I full!!” It makes sense and is incredibly logical yet you never believe it ‘til you experience it.

I started WW yesterday. Went to a meeting late in the day, weighed in and never curbed my eating for the day at all. I used 20 of my extra points allotment yesterday alone. (I figured I should journal the “average” day, pre-WW)

Needless to say I found it rather shocking. I was still hungry when I went to bed last night so I imagined I would be starving through this whole process.

Tonight I am five points short of meeting my points allowance for the day and I have eaten more food than I imagined I could on this program. It is pretty phenomenal. I am perfectly satisfied. The only thing I really missed today was soda. (I decided before I started this that I was going to drastically reduce the number of sodas I drink.)

I am lucky though, we have had bad weather and so my first real WW day was done at home. I didn’t have to go to work, nor did I have to take my children to school so I was able to focus on learning the plan — learning the website and the goals I have set for myself.

I sure hope tomorrow goes well too.